i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
