ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
