I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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