So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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