I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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