Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
