I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
