It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
