Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
