The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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