he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
