real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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