watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
