i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
