How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
