let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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