How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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