Please, let me fuck your mom
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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