Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
