You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
