i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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