Can Purell be used as lube?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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