Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
