We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
