Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
