Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He kissed a someone with a penis
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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