how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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