everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
