I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
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