I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize