So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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