hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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