I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
