i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
