i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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