I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
