tell your sister to shave her snatch
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
