'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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