Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
