yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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