Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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