I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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