No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize