it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
