how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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