Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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