those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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