She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
