Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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