How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
