He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
