Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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