And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize