what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
