I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
