Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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