what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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