Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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