I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This house was built for laser tag.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
